cutema's Xanga

The long awaited update~

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 18:12:04 GMT

Such a long xanga drought!

Just a small recap of the last few months:

God is awesome all the way, through frustrations, some mysterious health issues, wonderful people he has surrounded me with, God has opened my eyes to see him in a different light, to appreciate all that he has placed me in, to learn the realities of the undeserving human nature (my own mostly) (also compassion/grace toward others), to worship with my life, action and attitude. I am falling in love with the church He placed me in, and i am still at awe of His blessings in our marriage. Hehe, simple and succinct yah?

One thing I am most proud of and appreciate the most beside all of the above is EXERCISE!

Ever since I started to work, my health was going downhill quickly due to the physical demand and the stress of acquiring new skills. It hit me that if I don't condition my body to withstand the constant wear and tear at work, i will not be able to really enjoy life, and will become a burden to ppl who loves me. So my lovely husband supported me to join Curves, a complete body work out. I have been keeping it up, going twice a wk at least, and i am feeling stronger already! PTL!!!

While I am here, will post some of the knits I have completed =D

This is for my hs best friend's soon-to-come newborn boy

This is for baby Noah of my church in Fremont

Of course this is for me =D

simpsonized MK - simpsonizeme.com

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:51:05 GMT

weddings~

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 19:20:57 GMT

Just came back from a beautiful wedding reception of our dear friends JH^2, and our hearts are full of joy! Not only joy for our dear friends, but also joy seeing lots of our college fellowship friends that we have not been able to see for a LONG time!

One thought coming back from the wedding is... a relationship centered with God and coupled with obedience to His will yields beautiful union filled with excitement and wonders =D Thank you JH^2 allowing us to witness such a beautiful union! We've learned a few things from JH already hehe n_n

Rekindling the friendships made in college through weddings is so cool! Espcially this time since so many of the younger generation were there as well, seeing ppl all grown up and in various stages of life amazes us. looking forward to catching up more in the near future.

Encouragement from God

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 21:43:27 GMT

"Marriage is about a husband and a wife joined together by God to accomplish far more as a team than either one possibly could alone."

from The First 90 Days of Marriage by Eric and Leslie Ludy.

Timely encouragement from God. Thank you!

Passive Listening vs. Aggressive Listening

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 07:27:05 GMT

"How to Listen to God" by Charles Stanley

Passive Listening vs. Aggressive Listening

There are two kinds of listeners: passive & aggressive. A passive listener do not come to God to hear a decision from Him. The aggressive listener comes knowing and seeking to hear diligently what God has to say. If he is in church, his Bible is open and his pen is ready. if he participates in a Bible study, he is all ears and his mind is inquisitive. If he is involved in personal devotion, his notebook is replete with insight into God's ways. An involved listener is always probing, searching, and comparing what he hears with previous data he has accumulated. He wants to be sensitive to what God is saying; he thinks constantly, How can I apply this to my life? The aggressive listener is accurately depicted in Acts 17:11 where Paul spoke of the Berean Christians, saying, "These were more fair minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so. " They weren't just saying, "Oh, Paul is coming." They were investigating the Word.

James said, " But the one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does" (1:25 NASB). Notice the word intently. That means that we are to listen and hear the Word of God with a fervent focus. We are not to sit idly and allow the Word of God to stay simply on the surface level.

One of the problems today in the body of Christ is that too many Christians have been passive listeners for too many years. That is why after forty years of believers, they won't teach a Bible study or lead a class because they "don't know the Word well enough." Where have they been for the past four decades?

We come to church, watch television, read, listen to radio, or attend revivals, seminars, or conferences so that we might listen to God, no man. Man doesn't have much to say, but when God is speaking through His servants, then the hearer must aggressively hear what God is imparting. The passive listener comes into a church service or Bible study and never gives a second thought to what God is speaking. He is not involved in the hearing process. If God were to send Charles Stanley a letter and address is, DEAR CHARLES, and sign it, JEHOVAH GOD, would I put it aside and read it after the evening news was over? Of course not. I would open the letter reverently, read every comment, read every word deliberately, and when finished, I would probably read it over again. I would put it in a precious place, so that I would always have God's message before me.

You see, the Bible is that letter, and we ought to be listening intensely because it is that truth that will shape us into His image. If God speaks to us through our circumstances or our mates, then we should pay close attention because God is communicating to us. Oftentimes, out of the same voice comes the same word, but in every spirit there is a different message. That is why we must listen aggressively....

Matthew 7:24 says, "Therefore whoever hears these saying of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock." The solid foundation of our lives comes from aggressively hearing and implementing the Word of God. Nothing less will do. Anything less will cause our lives to be built upon shifting sand.

--End of Excerpt

More on Married Life

Fri, 25 May 2007 19:20:11 GMT

This is a post in response to Jing's request. "is it a lot different from being in a relationship/dating?"

hummm... It is A LOT different from the courting days in many ways. hehe.

One difference is that we get to see each other EVERYDAY, you go to bed and wake up with each other, and it is really nice to be able to do that. Marriage makes expressing affections to each other so much more free and fun. It is the most enjoyable part of the marriage. Thank God for marriage and the freedom and fun that come with it.

Second, is the nitty gritty things you experience together everyday. Before being married, each of us only need to take care of our own errands, chores, daily stuff. And out of love you offer to help the other person once in a while. But after getting married, we are ONE, his is mine, mine is his, we are responsible for every single thing in this family. So that mindset is different. For instance, we take care of our budget, because we are in it together, there is no longer his or mine money, it is our money. So now we think as one, to protect and nurture our family together. Spending habits change due to that shift of mindset. Also taking care of each other's health, doing what we each do best, and contribute to our family in such way.

One thing I had to work on is to rid the mindset of "because I love you so I do this for you, so thank me and appreciate me!" Rather, I had to recognize we both love each other, and whatever we do for each other is like investing in our marriage and family. It is wonderful when we are appreicated by the other person (which we do very often), but when there are times that the errands wear me/him down, we got to be more understanding, and know that we are both doing our best, and there is no finger pointing in marriage.

That brings me to the one of the most important thing that is different - how we handle conflicts. Reason that it is different is because now we have committed to each other for the rest of life, we have to handle conflicts in a way that contributes to making our marriage stronger, not the opposite. There is no more backing out, and there is no other choice. This shift makes me evaluate my "feelings" more carefully, and choose what to have conflicts on. Little things that doesn't really matter to our relationship/marriage, I will let it go (i.e. personal pet peeves, preferences), and I rather encourage Kevin than to criticize on what he did that does not suit me. What's important is our marriage, not how to clean, or brush teeth...etc. And when we DO have conflicts, we have to have it in a constructive way. Pure venting only gets us so far in our marriage, choosing the right word to say that will not damage our marriage is also very important. I have become less reactive, but more careful and slow to react because of this shift in mindset. Instead of blurting out everything on my mind, I have to evaluate why I feel a certain way, and how can I communicate it in the most constructive way for both me and him. Of course it is still hard, but it keeps our conflict short and simple, it doesn't drag on and on, and forgiveness and acceptance are the only way out because we want to continue to journey together for the rest of our lives.

Serving and loving my husband is my main ministry now - there is no other priority more important to this other than loving God. Everything else is second to the health of our marriage relationship. There is dying to selfishness (still hard), and there is shifting of priorities. How can I become an instrument that will help my husband grow closer to God, to become the man God create him to be is my main concern. Praying for him, and encouraging him in positive and gentle way, also telling him the truth in a loving way are things I am working on, and found to be quite enjoyable. It is a two way street, and I realized that when I am changed by God to become more gentle, loving and unselfish, God uses that to encourage K, and vice versa.

I would not trade anything for what we have now. There will be bumpy roads, but we don't have to face it alone. As long as God is the center of our marriage, and as long as we are both teachable and sensitive to God's voice, the bumpy roads will only make our marriage stronger. Constantly putting the other person more important than self is the ongoing lesson we each need to learn and perfect to keep the flame strong. It is no wonder that God sees marriage one of the most important relationship other than our relationship with Him, and that it is the closest expression of the love that God shares with Jesus. Thank God for his example, and thank Him for that perfect love that we can emulate.

PTL

Wed, 02 May 2007 23:36:26 GMT

This morning I woke up, reminiscing the ugly dream I had about mean boys playing with girls' heart (I know i know, there are bad girls too), and I look back at all the relationships I've had, and started to praise the Lord for the wonderful husband that I end up with. Because I have done nothing to deserve my hubby, and I often have done the opposite. To count all the bad choices I have made, and all the personality flaws I have, it is more than mercy and grace that K and I end up marrying each other. God, YOU ARE WONDERFUL!

Not just that, but to look at myself, where I am at in my life, the joy and peace that comes within (not circumstantial), the blessed assurance of our eternal future, an exciting journey with K following an Awesome God, the exciting unknown of the future callings, wonderful friends who holds us accountable, and wonderful family members who support each other.... etc....

Again, thank YOU God!

married life so far

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:35:30 GMT

After the wedding, we stayed at placerville for two more nights, to savor the time with each other, then went off to Napa with my inlaws. The trip was very fun, and it definitely pulled us all closer to each other. My inlaws stayed an extra week afterward and flew back to Taiwan last Monday. I really enjoyed their stay, and feel so blessed to have such open inlaws like them. I have to say, staying at home and do housework/errands/cook can get really tiring though... you have so much time, yet time just never seem to be enough.

Now that my inlaws are gone, I have been carpooling with my dear hubby to work to shorten his commute time, and get my butt out of the house to study for my upcoming exams (4.30 & 5.5). It has been really sweet to eat lunch together and drive home together. Though dinner is always scrambled =P.

Transitioning to a new church IPCF has been okay. it always takes a while to really familiarize myself with other people, but so far it has been quite easy. Our church is really different from CGBC, it is much smaller, and is still in the stage of establishing its goal, purpose, and finding a pastor. Though at times I feel a bit impatient, and just want to whine and reminisce the good old time at CGBC, God continues to remind me that there is a timing for every season, and now is the time to contribute and wait patiently in thanksgiving. I do thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a part of the church building process. however, I know my self and know how hasty and idealistic i can be, so please pray for me in this area, to be humble, and patient with what's in front of us now.

The sermon from CGBC last weekend was really encouraging, and it has been ringing in my head this week almost everyday. The main line is the following

"When the outward seems to be stagnant, it is because God is pushing our inward forward" (based on Psalm 41)

How true, in waiting, we grab on to God much tighter, and in despair/frustration, God's love is much more desired. Our knowledge of God grows the most during the time of waiting, our faith deepens as we know Him more and more.

As of now, my life seems to be in waiting. Married to a great hubby, my main ministry is to serve him, and love him, and help build him up to be who God intends him to be. Other than this, everything else is uncertain. Uncertain of job, uncertain of how I can take part in our church, uncertain of schedule... many things. Yet, God has given me to peace to do what's currently on my lap now, and not fret about the future. He is in control, and I just need to follow, and do my best to p repare myself for the next phase. Thank You God for all that you are.

We are Married!!!!

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:02:41 GMT

Lesson on Love

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 18:15:32 GMT

Been listening to the tapes that Karen Ayi gave me for bridal shower. Lots of wise counsel on relationship between the wife and the inlaws. The main point is to love, because of Christ, and to humble ourselves, and submit to win them over to God.

It has been hard for me, since I have a very strong sense of self and boundary. Yet, last night I experienced the fruit of stepping down, and to love and to be considerate for them out of Christ's love. The fruit is sweet and joyful, made me see how they are truly great new mommy and daddy that I will be gaining from this marriage.

Cannot use word to express how blessed I feel. I do feel that sun has shine through the dark cloud of fear, and filled it with hope and joy. =D Thank you God for blessing us!

Reminder to self: be quick to listen, slow to response. only say the constructive things at the right timing. Pray before communicating to parents.